First help them calm down. Allowing your child to choose helps them feel as if they are in control. Sometimes, they get overwhelmed with all the things happening around them, and they don't know how to handle this information and emotions. It is important to be on the same page and have consistency with how its handled. A child might be more inclined for a meltdown or tantrum if: If you are able to determine the root cause of the tantrum, for example that your child is over-tired, you will better be able to address the behavior. And always reinforce and praise behavior when you catch your child being kind and gentle. Thanks for postingI will share this post with the families in Montessori Mornings. 1. Montessori believed that learners in the crucial years from birth to age six possess extraordinary, innate mental powers to absorb the environment" [12]. Montessori Inspiration for Parents and Teachers, If we could say, We are respectful and courteous in our dealing with children, we treat them as we should like to be treated ourselves, we should have mastered a great educational principle and be setting an example of good education. Maria Montessori, The first idea that the child must acquire, in order to be actively disciplined, is that of the difference between good and evil; and the task of the educator lies in seeing that the child does not confound good with immobility, and evil with activity, asoften happens in the case of the old-time discipline. Maria Montessori. Use simple if-then logical sequences and keep your language clear and vocabulary within the childs range to ensure understanding. While many might question the success of discipline without these tactics, once implemented, adults might be surprised by the response. Simplify the choices they receive, the expectations, the directions, the task, and the activity. It is actually based on the root word disciple which means to teach or to learn. So I like to say instead of getting angry and punishing a child if they do something like hitting or biting another child, we can see it as an opportunity for us to teach and the child to learn about caring for others. One way that Montessori discipline attempts to reduce these conflicts is by providing children with pre-approved choices. For young toddlers, we may be modelling how we get a tissue for a friend or a wet cloth for a friend who is hurt. Filed Under: Discipline, Montessori Techniques Tagged With: Discipline, gentle discipline, Montessori, Montessori Approach to Discipline. The first idea that the child must acquire, in order to be actively disciplined, is that of the difference between good and evil; and the task of the educator lies in seeing that the child does not confound good with immobility, and evil with activity, as often happens in the case of the old-time discipline. Maria Montessori. Rather than imposing rules on your children, ask them leading questions to get them to consider the consequences of their actions. Get your free Montessori routine cards, 2. A study by [13] found that Montessori Figure 1. However, make sure you do this in a loving and respectful way. Montessori in 5 Minutes | Guide & Grow TV. Most of the time, they are unable to identify and verbalize what they are feeling. Simplicity is key for young children, in just about every aspect of their lives. Remember that the goal of discipline, under the Montessori Method, is to produce children who have self-respect and, as a result of that self-respect, they learn self-discipline. How Can a Real Montessori Classroom Be Identified. Sometimes, they get overwhelmed with all the things happening around them, and they dont know how to handle this information and emotions. Thank you for this post and the videos, very helpful. Misbehavior is often a side effect of children not feeling heard, feeling insecure, or disempowered. Practicing self-regulation. Cempaka Putih raya No:21, Jakarta 10510 Indonesia, Jl. Stronger emotions need more expressions and your child is learning to vent strong feelings, albeit in the wrong way. To be consistent with the discipline used in the classroom the parenting style at home should emphasize respect for the childs feelings, choices within acceptable limits, encouragement, conflict resolution, and natural and logical consequences for behavior. It should never be assumed that the child understands what it means to be kind or respectful. As a toddler or preschooler, your child may lack the self-control to express anger peacefully and may naturally lash out, perhaps hitting or biting in frustration. Lets find something else to throw. Dont they give you a lot of energy? The Montessori Method of discipline might seem like a complex system with no real discipline, and it is certainly non-traditional. Teach Grace and Courtesy! Obviously, you cannot always do this all the time. Although it might feel like youre in the, Read More The 24 Best Montessori Books for Parents and TeachersContinue, Sandpaper letters are traditionally used in a Montessori education, but can be easily incorporated whether you follow Montessori principles or not. This applies not only to actions, but the way adults handle emotions and relationships as well. But boy is it tough! Make sure your child knows you are listening. Take the time to evaluate what causes you to feel anxious or angry around your children. amzn_assoc_region = "US"; 4. The less you feel the need to interject, the more you are able to demonstrate your trust in them and avoid a typical authoritarian role. What is the Absorbent Mind in Montessori? * Get rid of the chaos and set up cosy spaces at home For example, if a child wants to eat a lot of sweets before bed, ask them, How do you feel when you eat a lot of sweets? Once your child has calmed, acknowledge what they were feeling and why. One of the best ways to teach him appropriate behavior is to control your own temper. Children who are happily engaged in self-satisfying activities with a clear purpose experience a great sense of accomplishment and power. Yet, we often forget to teach children the everyday skills necessary for getting along with others. A Montessori approach to discipline builds intrinsic motivation instead. Ruby Red LLC is compensated for referring traffic and business to these companies. When they display undesirable behavior, it can be due to an ignorance of desirable behavior, and it is the job of parents and educators to teach them right from wrong in the Montessori Method. Over time well be there to assist them to make it up to another, and they are slowly learning how to solve problems for themselves. Get rid of the clutter and set up beautiful, engaging spaces for your children. Talk with them about how it affects them and their community through conversations and lessons about what acceptable social behavior is and what behaviors are not acceptable. Often, bad actions will come with their own bad consequences, and even if they dont, the Montessori Method discourages negative reinforcement. The child learns such important skills as, how to shake hands and greet a friend, how to properly interrupt someone who is busy, and how to tell someone to please move out of my way. A Montessori approach to discipline requires patience and a lot of repetition on our part. Following some inner guide, they occupied themselves in work different for each that gave them joy and peace, and then something else appeared that had never before been known among children, a spontaneous discipline. There are certainly some Montessori classrooms that are very rigid and adult controlled, and there are also classroom that are disorderly and anything goes. * Learn to understand your toddler better The goal of the Montessori classroom whether it is a prepared environment for infants and toddlers, preschoolers, elementary, or secondary students, is first and foremost the development of skills necessary for a productive and fulfilling life. Make sure students understand what they are gaining by being obedient, and what they stand to lose, such as a quality education, if they misbehave. Threats, bribes or withdrawal of privileges were expected to make us comply with our parents wishes. It has been shown that children thrive when they are faced with challenges that are just slightly outside of their current level of mastery. You can offer a pillow to hit, kick, or punch, or a teether to bite to help satisfy the urge. Teach children that they are polite, respectful and peaceful human beings and before you know it, theyll likely start to believe it. If it was related to a boundary, explain why that boundary exists and what would happen if they crossed that boundary. Consider setting up a separate portion of your home where your child can play with books and toys. Tantrums or meltdowns are nearly inevitable with children, as they are experiencing big emotions for the first time. Thank you so much for putting this all together. Creating a balance so that our children feel close to us, but also follow rules and respect boundaries is tricky. Perhaps you create a specific area for your child to go to when they are overwhelmed, or you simply allow them time to process on their own. Children who, when they were younger, were told, "I won't let you throw the materials because they will break.". Natural consequences can sometimes be hard for children to understand, which is why it is important for parents to both talk about natural consequences and provide them in certain instancesnot through negative reinforcement but thorough modeling. Still, it is just as important that parents practice the Montessori Method of discipline at home as it is to practice it in the classroom. Please contact us to schedule a school tour. Your email address will not be published. As adults, it is our responsibility to help children understand the effects of their action. Establish Rules Create household rules that address respect. Not using bribes and rewards or punishment Bribes, rewards and punishment are all extrinsic motivations. If youre at the play area and you see your child being too aggressive and mean to others, dont hesitate to cut the trip short. I want to find a book for her about how to stop children from biting, but the tips you shared here should be helpful for her in the meantime! Preschool-aged children are generally in what the Montessori Method designates as the second level of obedience. Montessori herself held that discipline is not a fact but a way. True discipline comes more from within than without and is the result of steadily developing inner growth. If you are in a public space, it can be challenging to simply let your child work out their emotions with other people watching. Control your own temper. Vocabulary within the childs range to ensure montessori discipline hitting why that boundary of your where. Start to believe it Montessori Method of discipline without these tactics, implemented... 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