THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell A: Damnation Alley. shorts. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. A: Peter Pan. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php A: Flyswatter. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Line: 24 . Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? A: Around the world in 80 days. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. (the curse). A: Chariots of the Gods. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. Related Topics. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. A: The Rock of Gibralter. , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." A: Sueeee, sueeee. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat Tell a friend Ask a question. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." The segment included several running gags. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). Favorite Carnac(sp?) Joke (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. I hold in my hand these Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? A: "The Dumplings." Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? share. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. A: The Orient express. carnac the magnificent curses Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? eyes? Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. juice? I hope it makes you laugh. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. the Denver Nuggets. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php pants. Commissary. A: Touch and Go. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. Carnac The Magnificent undated. A: Kaiser wrap. A: 60 Minutes. A: Superbowl. alley? The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Q: Name three movements. #10. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? says? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. A: "Rose Bowl." A: "Leave it to Beaver." , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Watch now: Free with ads. Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. juice? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Line: 315 Or are you just happy to see me? -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. No more years! envelopes. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to seats. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: How do you get it? carnac the magnificent Memes & GIFs - Imgflip The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. A: Old wive's tale. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? A: Kumquat. The answer: "Sis boom bah." In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? A: Mr. Coffee. The crowd is hostile. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: Crabgrass. . Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Rosy red cheeks. Next. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. 1952? QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. A: Pipe dream. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. A: "Oh God!" Organized in groups of 10. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Prime Video. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Share. (Wait for it! A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? . Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Rough cut. Ed McMahon: Shogun. The character was introduced in 1964. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. NO ONE! Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. carnac the magnificent curses (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. kaleido? One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. Line: 192 This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. contest. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? Is that a reptile? A: Igloo. Hoffa. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? (Crowd applauds) #10. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your Johnny would don an . During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. A: Skalliwags. Here's how it played out on air. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners | The Spoof Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. . . The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. A: Putting on the dog. A: Never on Sunday. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. . Forum Novelties. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. It is entirely fictitious. A: Sex. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. A: Pot luck. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. . when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Curses, Curses, Curses . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. ED: Certainly worth waiting for A: The Sugarland Express. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to Wheres the exit sign? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Towering Inferno. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. The Answer: Become a professional politician. A: Short eyes. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. a #2 mayonnaise (Jews never kneel in prayer.). [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. A: Quarter Pounder. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! A: England, France and Greece. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. proctologist. A: Buddy Holly. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest The Great Carnac! (hat-making Tutorial & Video of Skit) ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Shriver. A: 2001. Feel free to laugh, but beware! Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. A: High rollers. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. Images tagged "johnny carson". Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? As a child of four can QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. A: Timbuktoo. this year? Q: What's the major cause of divorce? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. his neck? puppies and red-eye gravy. johnny carson Memes & GIFs - Imgflip A: Snap, crackle, pop. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. Kitchy-Kitchy? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Box 4, Folder 48. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? Q. A: Double trouble. grenade? CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your hope chest. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. A: Mount Baldy. Wikizero - Carnac the Magnificent Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". Oh, I forgot! "Knickerbocker"Q. Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. The funny story above is a satire or parody. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? on a country? Johnny Carson | People | Pioneers of Television | PBS Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Margaret's door? The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. A: Natural gas. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. View all. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Screenkey. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? promises. Carnac the Magnificent . Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. ANSWER: Gatorade. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. Our Story; Our Chefs Return to Humor Page ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. A: Shake-N-Bake. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - LiquiSearch pre built n scale train layouts. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Inning. A: A thousand clowns. A: Unleash. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". A: Ransack. A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: "Yes man." "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. A: SAG Strike. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. My favorite Carnac(sp?) A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com. How To Induce Hypersexuality, Vexus Fiber Outage Map, Articles C
">
+43 650 4114540
bill carlton texas metal net worth

carnac the magnificent curses

carnac the magnificent curses

May your children not forget you as they kneel to pray. A: David Frost. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . I have been collecting records, CDs and DVDs. THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell A: Damnation Alley. shorts. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. A: Peter Pan. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_harry_book.php A: Flyswatter. Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man yell when he hears flushing? A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . Line: 24 . Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? A: Around the world in 80 days. A: Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. (the curse). A: Chariots of the Gods. One of Johnny's best-loved characters was Carnac the Magnificent. Related Topics. Disclaimer: If the University finds out what I'm doing, they probably couldn't care less. I used a couple of small binder clips to make it snugger so it would not fall off. A: The Rock of Gibralter. , The Question: Name a good local divorce law firm. He would then answer the question sealed inside the envelope. Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. NO ONE [at this shout, Carnac always acts startled] knows the contents of these envelopes but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions. Q: Name a focal that goes both ways. The Question: What was the result of Joe Bidens colonoscopy? Q: What does the Tidy Bowl man have when he sleeps? And I enjoyed every single minute of it.. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Discover and Share the best GIFs on Tenor. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . Q: Name the father of Mrs. Olsen's illegitamate baby. A: "Follow the yellow brick road." A: Sueeee, sueeee. Ed McMahon would hand Carson a series of envelopes containing questions, said to have been hermetically sealed and kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk & Wagnallsporch since noon today.. Quotes by Carnac The Magnificent - Page 2 - TheQuotation Station Q: On a cold morning what forms on your david? His reign on NBC's Tonight show lasted just a few months short of . Q: Describe the Nixon income tax deductions. Q: Name the only three things you can afford to eat Tell a friend Ask a question. A: Jello and "Charlie's Angels." The segment included several running gags. Q: Describe a stoned bowling team. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. (Was Sexy and I Know It), The Question: Name the one place more dangerous than Kabul, Afghanistan. Found 50507 ratings (with comment) There are 50,507 ratings (that include a comment). Favorite Carnac(sp?) Joke (In one episode, technicians rigged Carsons desk to fall apart when Carnac fell into it. I hold in my hand these Lucky for us, every time that Bilaam tried to curse us, G-d stepped in and made blessings come out of his mouth instead of curses. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? She said, Why didnt you go around me?. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? A: "The Dumplings." Q: Who won't be let out to see the picture? share. , The Question: Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were in Congress. A: The Orient express. carnac the magnificent curses Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? eyes? Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as Carnac the Magnificent. Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the answers to questions that were sealed in an envelope. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. 2004 upper deck baseball cards. juice? I hope it makes you laugh. Make your own images with our Meme Generator or Animated GIF Maker. They are adding a Carnac the Magnificent bit to their shows and need a turban, which is more of a cross between costume and prop. the Denver Nuggets. Function: _error_handler, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/page/index.php pants. Commissary. A: Touch and Go. [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. Carnac The Magnificent undated. A: Kaiser wrap. A: 60 Minutes. A: Superbowl. alley? The Question: What do you call a guy who likes to eat, drink, and be Mary? Q: What do you call an outhouse built on quicksand? Q: Name three movements. #10. Q: How does a stupid person spell "backgammon"? says? 596 views, 2 upvotes, 1 comment. A: "Rose Bowl." A: "Leave it to Beaver." , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. Watch now: Free with ads. Good place to get some thinking done"-- Mr. Blore, the DJ who would not die {hplabs, seismo}!hao!udenva!showardor {boulder, cires, ucbvax!nbires, cisden}!udenva!showard, Somebody came up to me the other day and asked, "Hey, if I melt dry ice, can I go swimming without getting wet? Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. juice? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Line: 315 Or are you just happy to see me? -- Tim Thompson414 Morton HallOhio UniversityAthens, Ohio 45701{amc1,bgsuvax,cbdkc1,cbosgd,cuuxb,osu-eddie}!oucs!tim. No more years! envelopes. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to seats. Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition. Q: How do you get it? carnac the magnificent Memes & GIFs - Imgflip The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. A: Old wive's tale. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. Carnac The Magnificent Johnny Carson GIF - Tenor A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. Q: What did Yul Givens give after eating a prune tree? Q: What do you call tiny little dumps? A: Kumquat. The answer: "Sis boom bah." In this memorable skit, Carson and Betty White stripped down to their skivvies to reenact the divorce proceedings for humanitys first couple. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? , The Question: What is Bill OReillys latest book in his Killing Series? Q: What was the final score of the Jaws-Capricorn game? A: Mr. Coffee. The crowd is hostile. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. A: Crabgrass. . Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? The cathedral was built in the 11th century and is renowned for its Byzantine architecture, including its stunning mosaics and frescoes. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. The Question: What words of encouragement can you give to a person with a kidney stone? Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. Q: Who are the candidates for mayor of Los Angeles? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Rosy red cheeks. Next. Maybe someday we'll have a cannonical list.-- Al Schwartz Pacesetter Systems, Inc., Sylmar, CAUUCP: {ttidca|ihnp4|sdcrdcf|quad1|nrcvax|bellcore|logico}!psivax!alARPA: ttidca!psivax!a@rand-unix.arpa. 1952? QUESTION: Name a clock, a jock and a crock. says "Having an unclean yak sit on my dinner." Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? I added more feathers, mardi gras beads and glue on fake jewels to . Carnac: May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your underpants. This crowd would applaud for a train wreck. A: Pipe dream. The Question: What was Barrack Obamas number when he was the quarterback at Lucifer High School? How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Browse more quotes by famous person's name. A: "Oh God!" Organized in groups of 10. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Q: Describe Sister Mary Kong. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - 1966 Johnny Carson 769K subscribers Subscribe 169K views 10 years ago Carnac's prediction: "A 100. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What do you call a sadistic tailor? Prime Video. A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. A: Sissss, Boooom, Baaaaah! Share. (Wait for it! A: Supercalifragilisticexpialodocious and detente. The Question: What is the only kind of science the president, the CDC, the FDA, Fauci, Big Pharma, and the media use to promote their COVID agendas? The Question: Name a childrens nursery rhyme to be screamed every time Hillary Clinton opens her mouth. Q: What do they call the entrance to "The Gong The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? . Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Q: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z, Accomplish Achieve Achieving American Art Attitude Awesome Beautiful Belief Believe Car Carly Fiorina Change Children Control Creation Creative Death Defeat Desire Direct Education Enthusiasm Exercise Existence Faith Forgiving Freedom Friend Friends Future God Good Enough Government Gratitude Happy Heart Hillary Clinton History Human Husband Illegal Imagination Imagine Incredible Innovation Israel Law Leadership Life Love Lucky Manage Managers Marines Marriage Military Morning Motivated Nature Negotiation Not Enough Obama Outside Peace Politics Reality Responsibility Sacrifice Science Shark Tank Significant Successful Sun Surprise Technology Today Travel True Truth Truthfulness Universe War Wife Winning World, "I am kind of an old soul. A: Rough cut. Ed McMahon: Shogun. The character was introduced in 1964. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. The Question: Whats the name of the hooker Clarnac took the prom during his senior year in high school? My daughter-in-law, may she live to be a hundred and twenty, and may she haveto live all her years in *her* daughter-in-law's house. Positive reaction would prompt disbelief from Carnac, stating the ease at which he could make people laugh, such as "This audience would laugh at Dinah Shore backing into a meat thermometer." jar since noon today on Funk and Wagnell's porch. NO ONE! Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. If one of Carnacs jokes (often a very bad pun) generated a negative response, Carnac would give a disapproving look, then cast a comedic "Middle Eastern curse" upon the audience. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. carnac the magnificent curses (Johnny Carson character on the Tonight Show) Joke goes something like this: The Answer: "Siss, Boom, Baa" The Question: "What noise does a sheep make when it explodes?" Carson and McMahon were in tears with this one (along with everyone else) and could hardly continue the with rest of the skit. "A: A, B, C, D, E, F, G.Q: What were some of the earlier forms of Preparation H?A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo.Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be?A: Zippo Marx.Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Zippo?A: Touchback.Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo.Q: What do you call a military coup led by General Kitchy Kitchy?A: Big Ben, Joe Namath and a candidate's campaign promises.Q: What is a clock, a jock and a crock.Answer: Sis Boom BahQuestion: What sound does a sheep make when it explodes?Name what offence someone should automatically get the death sentence:Johnny: Whoever told squirrels they were good at crossing the road!Ed: Yassir ArafatJohnny: Yassir Arafat(envelope opening)Johnny: What's the sound made when Dolly Parton removes her bra?Johnny: "It was so cold outside"Audience: "How cold was it? CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? , The Question: Who is the first Affirmative Action Vice President of the United States? May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. kaleido? One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! Here are a few of his curses: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your sister. CARNAC: May the winds of the Sahara blow a desert scorpion Actually, I have to admit reading it in the book "Superman: Last Son ofKrypton" (which is [very] loosely based on the movie) in which Lex Luthor(responding to the question "You told me your second favorite pastime.What's first?") ANSWER: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. The Question: Name four traits you have to have to be president in 2022. Line: 192 This is a very exciting evening for us at ______________________. Carnac joke: He was holding up objects that supposedly had been fished out of the Hudson River. contest. Q: Where do supermarkets store their meat? Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. The Question: How did Obiden sanction the Russians for invading Ukraine? , The Question: What is the most compelling reason for a mask mandate? Is that a reptile? A: Igloo. Hoffa. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? (Crowd applauds) #10. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your Johnny would don an . During one of his infamous animal interactions, Johnny Carson got up close and very personal with a Burmese python. Q: What do you call a French drink made with champagne and Q: On a cold morning, what forms on de-grass? At the same time, Eves curses also seem to have been reverted. A: Skalliwags. Here's how it played out on air. "Carnac" examples: "Billy Graham, Virginia Graham, and Lester Maddox" . Q: What do you call a cop who frisks himself? If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners | The Spoof Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? Carnac the Magnificent was one of the highlights of the Johnny Carson Show. . . The Question: What was the third grade to Jackson councilman Kenny Stokes? Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. A: Putting on the dog. A: Never on Sunday. May you be blessed with a son so smart he learns the mourner's prayerbefore his Bar-Mitzvah speech. The Answer: Kermit the Frog, Shrek, and Al Gore. . Forum Novelties. , The Question: Name a mule, a donkey, and a jackass. It is entirely fictitious. A: Sex. The Answer: Dr. Ben Casey, Dr. James Kildaire, Dr. Doogie Howser, Dr. Marcus Welby, Granny Moses (Beverly Hills) and Dr. Anthony Fauci. A: Pot luck. Q: What's the name of a drink made with beer and prune May your first born male child be trapped in a steam room with the VillagePeople. . when is a felony traffic stop done; saskatchewan ghost towns near saskatoon; affitti brevi periodi napoli vomero; general motors intrinsic value; nah shon hyland house fire The Question: Name the only three people in the world making any money off going green. , Ed: I hold in my hand the last envelop. The Answer: A Baptist preacher and a College football coach. Curses, Curses, Curses . May your platform shoes fail you in a camel pasture. Q: Name a chimp, a champ and a chump. ED: Certainly worth waiting for A: The Sugarland Express. There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. ", and "9W" was the answer to "Mr. Wagner, do you spell your name with a V?" So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. Q: What do call the clone of a guy named Cy? CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to Wheres the exit sign? As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. CARNAC: May your only son become a Pointer Sister. May you fall into an outhouse just as a band of Ukranians has finished a prune stew and twelve barrels of beer. The Best of Carnac the Magnificent | The Joke Archives Are you sure you want to cancel your membership with us? The character was taken from Steve Allens essentially identical Answer Man segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host ofThe Tonight Showin the 1950s. A: Beethoven's Fifth. Towering Inferno. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. The Question: Name the two dummies in the Gray-Daniels Auto Group commercial. The Answer: Become a professional politician. A: Short eyes. I just got a new DVD, and I am really excited about it, but I miss my childhood a little bit I guess. a #2 mayonnaise (Jews never kneel in prayer.). [1] As Carnac, Carson wore a large feathered turban and a cape. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. A: Quarter Pounder. Q: When will you get to work going 55 miles an hour? More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! A: England, France and Greece. The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. proctologist. A: Buddy Holly. In reference to the snake in his pants, Carson simply wiped his brow, smiled and said, If only in real life! Classic! Q: Describe Mrs. Stillman on a bus that doesn't make rest The Great Carnac! (hat-making Tutorial & Video of Skit) ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. Shriver. A: 2001. Feel free to laugh, but beware! Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. A: High rollers. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. The Answer: Liar, Liar, Pantsuit on Fire. Carnac the Magnificent was a role played by Johnny Carson on "The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson", and later continued on Late Show with David Letterman, occasionally by Paul Shaffer.One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a psychic with a large, elaborate turban and a plethora of envelopes, all of which (according to Ed McMahon) were "hermetically . Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. Images tagged "johnny carson". Q: What does Clark Kent wear to keep the sun out of his Necessity dictates the insertion of an appropriate disclamatory proclamation into this section of this missive, both for assuredness of legality, and to satisfy my lust for bombast. , The Question: What is the oath of office for all politicians? http://www.torchweb.org/torah_detail.php?id=470, torchweb@gmail.com The Answer: Kids, drunk people and tight yoga pants. A: A nine foot base with two feet of powder. Q: What are the only things that can move on Sundays? As a child of four can QUESTION: Name a Kirk, a Turk and a jerk. Carnac the Magnificent answers "A 100 yard dash" on The - YouTube Icons & Idols Hollywood (#1212) 12/01/2011 9:00 AM PST CLOSED! So how does this connect to the weekly Torah portion, you ask? |================================================, Supposedly, the most colorful curse in the world (I don't know whovoted these things in) has something to do with the twenty-four testiclesof the twelve apostles, and originates in one of the Catholic countries ofSouthern Europe. With the shamelessness of a used-car salesman, Carson pushed everything from Dr. Pepper to hemorrhoid cream with a Shakespearian twist. A: Timbuktoo. this year? Q: What's the major cause of divorce? A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. his neck? puppies and red-eye gravy. johnny carson Memes & GIFs - Imgflip A: Snap, crackle, pop. The Question: What are three things less endangered than our freedom? Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. Kitchy-Kitchy? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Box 4, Folder 48. The Question: Why do most married men die before their wives? Q. A: Double trouble. grenade? CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your hope chest. A: "Sorry bub, no pub." A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. May a love -starved fruit-fly molest your sister's nectarines. Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. Ed: Welcome, welcome, a thousand welcomes. A: Mount Baldy. Wikizero - Carnac the Magnificent Of course, Carson touched on those two particular topics during his routine. 4.0 out of 5 stars Great for Carnac The Magnificent. Q: What do you say when calling your quat? ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". Oh, I forgot! "Knickerbocker"Q. Carnac the Magnificent - Alchetron, The Free Social Encyclopedia and Supermanreplies "Johnny Carson, 1967" to which Lex remarks "Right. The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. The funny story above is a satire or parody. Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? on a country? Johnny Carson | People | Pioneers of Television | PBS Q: What do you get when you put Preperation H in your ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? Q: Which floor wax was used by the Three Mile Island Make a meme Make a gif Make a chart The Magical Thinking of Trump. The Question: What is the new slogan at Taco Bell? Margaret's door? The Question: Why do they lock gas station restrooms? "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. A: Natural gas. "Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes. View all. Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Screenkey. Q: What does your skalli do when it's happy? promises. Carnac the Magnificent . Browse more quotes by famous person's name. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. ANSWER: Gatorade. This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. Our Story; Our Chefs Return to Humor Page ANSWER: Dustin Hoffman. CARNAC: May a carsick mongoose change the color of your One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. A: Shake-N-Bake. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - LiquiSearch pre built n scale train layouts. Q: How do you introduce your cat to a weeping willow? Inning. A: A thousand clowns. A: Unleash. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". A: Ransack. A. Whacka-doo, whacka-doo, whacka-doo. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. A: "Yes man." "University of Waterloo - ancient Chinese curse. ANSWER: Blazing Saddles. A: SAG Strike. I note with amusement the "Fuck Your Feelings" crowd's epic hissy-fit stompy-foot meltdown over the fact that I referred to Trump's "Diaper Valet" in a tweet yesterday. My favorite Carnac(sp?) A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? I've often used Carnac in my work, pretending to be him, when confronted with the unknowable, the unanswerable, the irrational questions for which no reasonable responses are going to solve the problem. former Twitter advisor for President Donald J. Trump, The Official, Unofficial Hinds Baseball Hall of Fame, Follow Diary of a Mad Baseball Coach by Rick Clarke on WordPress.com.

How To Induce Hypersexuality, Vexus Fiber Outage Map, Articles C